Finding My Voice

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Last night, I had a dream that I was a student. Fairly typical, classroom-style setting. There were about 20 students in the class and the teacher was calling students up one by one to speak about a topic they were passionate about. I was sitting in a chair, dreading the moment I would be singled out to speak. I was finally called up and all eyes were on me. I stood in front of the class and turned toward my fellow classmates, their expectant, eager faces looking up at me.

And I had nothing to say. 

I had zero ideas. There were no words that I could summon. Nothing.

And slowly, the teacher’s face turned to a look of disappointment. The students were mocking me. They all had great ideas and opinions. And I had nothing.

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Words to My 20-Year-Old Self

Recently, I was reading through some of my old writing and journals because Jim and I couldn’t remember what we were doing this time last year. I don’t know if we were talking about a specific date or just life in general, but I pulled out the archives of my life and started reading.

Out of curiosity, and boredom, I opened up some files from 2010 and 2011 and got hooked on reading through my college years. Some people may never want to look back on those years ever again, some people may not be able to remember college or may only remember hazy, inebriated moments, and others prefer to only remember the good stuff. I, however, wrote it all down. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I wanted to be able to look back on my years of swimming and parties and friends and classes and studying and working and really know what it was like to go through it all.  Continue reading

Waiting for the Perfect Post

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After a two month hiatus, I have returned to the blogging world. When I entered Jessica Lawlor’s Get Gutsy essay contest at the end of 2013, I thought it would be the beginning of another great year of blogging. But I read the entries from so many other inspiring and accomplished bloggers and I started to wait for more inspiration.  I was waiting for some divine, fabulous, unique idea that I would just have to write about. And then one week became two and two weeks became a month and now it’s been over two months without a word.

At first, I was waiting for something great to write about, but then I had too many ideas. I had too much to say and not enough time in the day to write it. Therefore, I kept putting it off, waiting to be overcome with a brilliant stroke of genius. I told myself I was waiting for a whole uninterrupted day when I could just put down every thought onto paper, or digital paper. And then I would get that whole day and spend it reading or catching up on Netflix shows instead.

I wanted to see the whole post formulate in my mind, fully played out, before I committed to writing it down. I wanted to write something that would have meaning for every reader and would strike a cord in every heart and perhaps change the world. Continue reading